It's Good To Talk
by Frakme
Summary: Archer has some bridge mending to do. No Slash, rating for mild swear. Coda to Bound. Will have 1-2 more chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing here. This is purely for personal entertainment and not monetary gain.

Coda to Bound. Archer is trying to mend bridges, firstly with his prodigal chief engineer. Archer's POV.

"Hello, Trip!" I say, after letting my… no, _Erica'_s Chief Engineer into my quarters.

"I'd like to talk to ya, Cap'n about somethin'." Trip looks nervous, not meeting my eyes.

"What can I do for you, Commander?" I retreat into formality, still feeling a little hurt that Trip had left the _Enterprise_. So I am pretty floored when Trip utters his next words.

"Cap'n, I'd like to come back. _Columbia_ doesn't need me now she's flyin' and by the sound of those vibrations, I think I'm needed here."

I frown at him. Part of me is elated that he wants to come back but part of me is suspicious about the reasons he left in the first place. I didn't for one minute believe the crock of shit he fed me about wanting to move on. But I couldn't find it in me to confront him with what was really going on. Two years ago, I wouldn't have let him leave. But then two years ago I would have probably had a better idea of what was going through his head.

My gregarious, heart-on-his-sleeve friend was now a closed book to me. Time and tragedy had put a considerable amount of distance between us.

I look up at him, into his blue eyes and see something I really hadn't noticed before. Suffering. It hits me that he is in a deep kind of pain, far beyond his desperate and angry grief for his dead sister. How long has it been there? And how long has it been since I'd ever looked into his eyes?

"I know ya have every right to turn my request down and I guess I wouldn't blame ya if ya did" he continues, breaking the silence when it starts becoming uncomfortable. "But I know I shouldn't have left in the first place, and I should've been honest about why."

"Well, you could try a bit of honesty now?" I reply, unable to keep the bitterness out of my tone. He notices and winces. Score one for me, I think.

"I was running away… there was somethin' I just couldn't deal with any more and I just thought it'd be easier if I just left."

"You couldn't have talked to me about it? Or was I the problem?"

"It wasn't ya, Cap'n" he looked at me with those blue eyes again, filled with sadness. "But I jus' couldn't talk to ya. I jus' thought that if I tole ya, ya'd react as my Cap'n and not my friend."

And there was the crux of the problem. I had let our friendship go. I even know what had triggered me pulling back, to only dealing with Trip on a professional level. When I bawled Trip out over the Congenitor, it was because I was angry at myself, that I had gone far too easy on him and the others of my senior crew when they screwed up before we'd met the Vissians and that had essentially given him licence to act with such stupidity. I was so busy trying to be their friend that I had lost sight of what being their Captain meant. In some ways, Reed had been right, I was too lax about discipline, rules and regulation, setting a lousy example to my senior crew.

Then the Xindi attacked and I was forced into becoming something I never wanted to be, a ruthless, military commander who was willing to compromise his ethics and morals to get the job done, which isolated me even more.

I had come to terms with most of it, Erica had helped. But I held back from trying to find a balance between being Captain Archer and Jonathan, the crew's friend.

I realise now that Trip is offering me a chance to make things right. I pick up a PADD and give it to him.

"Fill out your transfer request" I say. "I'll talk to Captain Hernandez, try and smooth her over."

Trip's face lights up and he smiles. It's the first time I have seen him smile like that in a long time, before he had his heart shattered by his sister's death.

"I promise ya won't regret it, Cap'n" he says. He quickly completes the request on the PADD, hands it back to me and turns to leave.

"Trip, before you go." I hesitate, there is a small part of me that is afraid of rejection but I have to make the first move. He looks at me expectantly. "I've just been sent the latest Stanford game. I was planning on watching it later tonight, why don't you join me? I'm sure I can liberate a couple of beers from Chef, if that'll sweeten the deal?"

"Sure thing, Cap'n" he says, grinning. "I'd hate ta think of ya drinkin' alone."

I feel a little lighter as he leaves.


	2. Chapter 2

Oops, realised that I was thinking of the wrong episode name, it's a coda to Bound! Anyhoo, here's Chapter 2!

Trip's POV

This is kinda nice. The Captain and me are lounging on the sofa, watching the game, sucking down some beers. He'd actually got half a dozen from Chef, enough to get us a little merry but not really drunk. It's pretty good stuff too. Malcolm would still probably scorn it though, he's always bitching about weak American beers. He made me try Guinness once, damn stuff tasted like roofing tar.

Thoughts of Malcolm darken my mood so I try and concentrate back on the game. Judging by the Captain's excited little jump, I guess I missed Stanford equalising.

It's nearly the end of the game and the Captain is practically on the edge of the seat, willing his team to score again, which they do. He looks elated as the final score is announced. I smile at him, it's nice to see some of the old Jonathan Archer back, the one before the weight of his responsibilities and decisions pulled him down, adding extra lines to his face.

"That was a tight game" he says to me, finishing off his beer. "I didn't think they'd win!"

"It was pretty close, alright" I agree amiably. The Cap'n pats me on the knee.

"Glad you came, Trip and I am glad you're back." He smiles back at me. "It hasn't been the same without you. Kelby is a good engineer, but he isn't you."

I hide a grimace. Kelby was a good engineer but he still didn't have the touch that allowed the warp engines to purr like kittens, he had no intuition or instinct.

"I'm glad to be back, I missed you all, especially you, Travis, Hoshi." I hesitate. "And Malcolm."

I see Archer wince at the mention of Malcolm's name. I still don't know all the details of why our armory officer was in the brig when I arrived back on Enterprise. Somehow, the Captain hasn't gotten around to telling me what had happened during Phlox's kidnapping and rescue. Although the lieutenant's been reinstated on the Bridge, he seems even more withdrawn than usual and there is a coldness between him and the Captain.

"Are you going to let me tell the crew you're staying, Trip?" Archer asks me, clearly trying to get off the subject of the armory officer.

"Can you give me a couple more days, Cap'n?" I ask, "There's just something I need to sort out first." I was determined to wait out T'Pol. I know she's bound to crack sometime, Vulcan or no Vulcan. Now I know what this thing was inside my head, I realise I have been sensing her feelings towards me. I know I am being petty but I wanna give her a bit of a taste of what she has put me through the last few months.

"Sure, Trip, just don't take too long." Archer looks at me searchingly, then hands me one last beer, popping the other one for himself. "Are you going to tell me why you really left?"  
"Are you going to tell me what's going on with Malcolm?"

He sighs in irritation while I just look at him blandly.

"Cap'n, what's said in this room, stays in this room, 'kay?"

He nods. I get the feeling he actually does want to offload.

I listen while he tells me what went on, about Malcolm delaying their rescue of Doctor Phlox under orders from Section 31. I was shocked, I mean, I'd never even heard of Section 31. I knew Malcolm was a bit of a dark horse but I never expected this of him. Actually, it kind of reminded me of those James Bond movies Malcolm loves.

"Wow" I say when Archer stops speaking. "I guess I can't blame you for feeling betrayed."

"Betrayed doesn't even cover it, Trip" he says quietly. "I've known that man for nearly four years now, only it turns out I didn't know him at all."

"I dunno" I say carefully. "I can't imagine it was very easy for him to do what he did. You know how much he loves playing by the rules. Malcolm likes his universe nicely ordered, I guess he kinda got put through the wringer."

"Maybe" Archer conceded, unwillingly. "It doesn't change the fact he put lives at risk."

"And you didn't in the Expanse?"

Archer glares at me hard.

"That's not the same and you know it!" he retorts. I stand my ground though. I know this man well. I know that when he is hurt is lashes out and then regrets it afterwards. And Malcolm hurt him and so he had the full wrath of Archer in his face.

"It sounds to me like Malcolm was given a look at the bigger picture, one that you may not have been aware of."

"That's what Harris said" Archer admits, slumping back on the sofa. He then leans forward and scrubs at his face.

"I suppose I should be glad" he says, eventually looking back at me. "It was a dirty job Malcolm had to do. I had enough of that in the Expanse."

Now we're getting somewhere, I think to myself.

"You're right there, Cap'n" I reply. "And you beat yourself up pretty badly over some of the stuff you did, just as Malcolm is beating himself up now. He's lost your trust and he thinks he'll never regain it. You've gotta let him know that you'll give him the opportunity to do so."

Archer doesn't say anything, just stares at the wall.

"This is why I needed you back, Trip. Not just because you're the finest engineer in Starfleet, but because you're you."

I can't help it, I blush a little and grin at him.

"Now don't get sappy on me, Cap'n" I swallow the last of my beer and get up, have a good stretch.

"Well it's late, I need some shuteye and so do you Cap'n" I start heading to the door, but the Cap'n grabs my arm.

"Aren't you forgetting something, Mister?"

Damn, I really thought I'd get away with it. I look at him sheepishly.

"Could this wait until tomorrow?" I ask. Maybe we'll get jumped by a bunch of Nausiccan pirates or some such.

The Captain looks at me then points at the sofa.

I roll my eyes and sit back down. Now where do I begin?


	3. Chapter 3

Coda to Bound. They'll be one more chapter, it'll be Malcolm's turn to have a little heart to heart with the Captain!

Archer's POV

Trip sits back down on the sofa, but doesn't say anything. Instead he leans back and closes his eyes. I wait patiently for him but I am not letting him leave this room until he tells me what he's been keeping from me.

Eventually he lets out a heavy sigh and sits upright again.

"You really wanna know why I left?"

I just look at him. He should know by now that I won't let this go.

"It was to do with what happened with the telepresence device" he says. "I got distracted and I made a mistake. I was too busy worrying about T'Pol and I let that get in the way of doing my job."

I frown at him, surely it can't be just that?

"We've been through this, Trip. You were being too hard on yourself" I admonish, with a smile to take the sting out of my words, but he shakes his head.

"T'Pol distracted me… and then Phlox figured it out."

He stops again and I can sense he is trying to tell me something without actually saying it, but I'm still not quite sure what he is driving at. Eventually, though he just comes out with it.

"I'm in love with her" he confesses.

I try to hide my shock. I had suspected he'd had a bit of a crush on her but now I know it runs a lot deeper than that. It explains the tension between them and why, despite saying he would never set foot on a desert planet again, he chose to spend part of his leave on Vulcan. Surely he knows that was pointless. T'Pol could never return his feelings, surely?

"Trip, I still don't see why this could have forced you to leave?" I still felt as though he wasn't telling me the whole story and I was right. Like a dam had burst, Trip started talking and it all came out, about the neuropressure sessions, how she had seduced him and then brushed him off the next day.

Now I couldn't hide my shock, T'Pol had seduced him? For most of the two years before the Xindi attack, she had treated Trip like he was a piece of dirt on her shoe, despising his over-emotionalism while he in turn took every opportunity to needle her.

He then went on to tell me about his shore leave to Vulcan, how he watched her marry another man and how it ripped his already broken heart into pieces.

"I tried, Cap'n" he says, his eyes full of sadness. "I tried for her sake to be grown up and professional 'bout it. She was put in an impossible position, she needed to protect her mom. I knew she cared for me, she jus' about admitted it before she married Koss." He ran a hand through his blond hair.

"How I never decked the guy I'll never know." He gave me a wry grin.

"Having met him, I applaud your restraint" I grin back at him.

"But she ended the marriage, though" I say, wanting to follow this through to its natural conclusion.

"Yeah she did" he says, slumping back again. "At first I was elated, I thought maybe she and I could try again to make it work between us. I knew she felt something for me!"

"But it didn't happen, did it?"

Trip shook his head, the sadness returning.

"She pushed me away, Cap'n" he admits. "I guess between dealing with her mom's death and the Kin'shara, there was no room for me."

"So you tried to deal and couldn't."

"That's about the size of it. Phlox figure it out, he realised I was harbouring 'unrequited feelings' for her. And then I let my hurt and misery distract me from my job and I realised I just couldn't let it happen any more, so I just had to get away from her."

I couldn't help but feel guilty. Trip had been alone with all this hurt and I hadn't even seen it. Trip looked at me steadily.

"You were asking why the Orion women didn't affect me, Cap'n. It's because when we… mated, as she called it, we somehow formed a telepathic bond between us. It rendered me immune to their pheromones."

"Wow" I say. I don't know what else I can say. Despite my experience carrying Surak's katra, I'm amazed at this revelation.

"I had these weird hallucinations, which turned out to be because of the bond. It started on the Columbia, I suddenly found myself in a white space and T'Pol was there. Next thing I know I'm back on Columbia. When I came back onto Enterprise, she figured out it was because we shared this bond."

"Can you get rid of it?" I say. Having had several Vulcans invading my mind recently made me worry for Trip.

"I haven't talked about it with her yet… and I don't know if I want to get rid of it. I know she cares for me and I think I wanna have one last go at trying to sort things out with her."

I frown at him, I wasn't sure I liked where this was going.

"Trip, this isn't a game. This is your second transfer request. If things don't work out for you and T'Pol, you are going to have to live with the consequences. I'm not going to help you run away again."

"I know that Cap'n, and I wouldn't ask you to." Trip looks at me earnestly.

"I will be staying, just give me a couple of days to settle things with T'Pol. I need to know she wants me to stay."

"Alright, Trip." I put a hand on his shoulder. "Listen, I know I haven't been a good friend to you lately but I am trying now. Whatever happens, you know you can come to me and I'll be here for you. I promise."

Trip smiles at me and I am reminded of the young engineer who stood up to Starfleet brass and a bunch of mealy mouthed Vulcans to tell them there was nothing wrong with Dad's engine.

I pull him into a hug and he hugs me back.

"Thanks, Cap'n, it means a lot." He pulls away and heads for the door. "I'd better leave ya to it, it's getting late."

I smile at him.

"Go get your girl" I say.


	4. Chapter 4

This has been a very hard chapter to write. I may come back to it and write another chapter but not at this time, I have two much longer stories I want to concentrate on, one Enterprise one which actually could class as a follow on from these chapters, the other an original story.

The next plot bunny that pops in my head, I'm going to put it in a pie!

Malcolm's POV

It's over two hours since the end of my shift, am I my stomach is growling. I head to the mess to eat. The dinner rush is long over and so there isn't much left. I find a sandwich, not caring much about what's in it. I go through the motions of eating it, though I don't really taste it. When I'm done, I get up to leave and head to my quarters.

As I leave, I see Captain Archer heading towards me.

I stop and stand to attention, waiting for him to pass me.

"Hello, Malcolm" he says, cordially. I blink, this is the first time I think he has greeted me that way since before... my mind shied away from the events that lead me to betray his trust.

"Evening, Sir" I respond. He stops as he reaches me.

"I was just coming to find you, Malcolm. I think we need to talk. If you aren't busy I suggest you join me in my quarters."

It is the last bloody thing I want right now, but I can't refuse him. I nod stiffly.

"Of course, sir."

He smiles at me and we both walk to his quarters, in silence.

Entering his quarters he gestures me to sit down and offers me some tea, which I refuse.

"I talked to Trip a couple of days ago" he says. It doesn't take a tactical genius to work out what about. Tucker had tried to broach the subject of why I had been in the brig several times, but I had managed to put him off, though mainly because he appeared to be having troubles of his own.

"We haven't really talked much about what happened with you and Section 31" says Archer, hesitantly. "I have to be honest and say I am still harbouring a lot of anger about the whole situation."  
"I know, sir and I don't blame you." I say, "I put lives in danger because of my actions."

"Yes you did" Archer says sharply, nodding. "I take it you have had no more contact with Harris?"

"No sir!" I say, vehemently. "Please trust me, I have told him plainly I wish nothing to do with the section again. What I did for Harris was completely unforgivable and I'm surprised you didn't request my immediate transfer!" I can't look Archer in the eye. I wished I had disobeyed Harris's order to keep my Captain in the dark but I couldn't be sure that he wouldn't have ignored my recommendation to give Phlox time to work. I doubted he would have seen the eventual outcome of the Klingon Empire destabilising, if the virus had been allowed to spread. Perhaps though, I don't give him enough credit. May be he would have. Either way, I would never know.

"Lieutenant… Malcolm, I guess somewhere I had this nagging feeling that there was something going on, that you had good reasons for betraying me."  
I flinch at the word 'betraying'.

"However, it doesn't change the fact that on the face of it, you did betray me and this crew. Phlox could have been killed. Somehow we need to work past this."

"I know I have to earn back your trust." I say. Archer nods, looking stern. Then he sighed.

"I also feel I should apologise, I said some pretty harsh, pretty personal things to you."

I remember the comment Archer had made to me when I was in the brig, about my father. I don't think he realised how painful hearing that comment had been. I had already imagined what my father would say. I have always been a disappointment to him, even more so when I turned my back on his plans for me to join the Royal Navy and enlisted in Starfleet instead.

"Captain, there is no need to apologise." I say. "You were completely justified in what you had to say to me."

Of course, I think cynically to myself, maybe it isn't that he needs to apologise to make me feel better. Perhaps he needs to apologise to assuage his own guilt, no matter how misplaced it might be. The Captain has carried a lot of guilt over the last few months, over his actions in the Expanse, the loss of so many lives and his deteriorating friendships with members of the crew, especially Commander Tucker. Although I think that improvements are being made in that regard, since he and Trip are clearly having conversations about me. I can't help but feel a little bit resentful of that.

"I want to, Malcolm" he insists. Yes, I was right. I feel a dim sort of satisfaction at my ability to read this man, my Captain.

"Then I accept your apology" I say as graciously as I can. He smiles with relief at me.

"I want you to know that Trip made me consider some of the decisions I made in the Expanse" he says, his smile disappearing, his countenance looking grim again. "He made me realise that what you did wasn't that far away from what I did."

I look at him with surprise. I never expected him to come to that conclusion. Admittedly I had very vocally questioned some of those decisions, bringing me close to insubordination at times. Archer continues as I say nothing.

"One of the things it made me realise is that you and I have more in common than I thought. We both have and can make decisions that others can't."

He looks at me steadily.

"We both tend to look at the bigger picture, don't we, Sir?" I say.

He nods slowly.

"And we both have to live with the consequences of our decisions."

I gaze into the Captain's eyes and see the pain and shame that I have been feeling reflected back at me. In that moment I begin to realise that I wasn't the only one who was carrying a burden of guilt.

"Sir, as much as we want to, we can't undo those actions. All we can do is at least be thankful we have spared others from this guilt."

I think of Trip, mainly. There have been times that I have felt that, despite his considerable talents which have saved the ship from near disaster many a time, he is too lead by his heart to be in a position of responsibility. We have nearly lost him so many times, through accidents, through his determination to recklessly sacrifice himself and due to his crippling inability to cope with emotional pain. Yet there are times when I think I have underestimated him, when he does manage to demonstrate competence under fire.

Looking at the Captain, I recognise he is also thinking of our Chief Engineer. Perhaps that is why I am still here. The Captain recognises that he needs us both, Trip's heart and my ability to get the job done, whatever the cost.

"You're right, Malcolm" Archer says, sighing. He looks at me though with a steely gaze. "I still need to know that something like this will never happen again. Trust is essential for this ship and I am giving you the opportunity to earn it back."

"I appreciate that, Sir" I say firmly. "I won't let you down." I know I never want to be subjected to the Captain's rage like that again. I feel more for him than I do for my own father; the crew of this ship have become my family, despite my efforts to keep my distance and I have no one else.

"That's all Lieutenant" he says, dismissing me with a gentle smile. I stand up and nod.

"Thank you, Captain."I say. I leave the Captain's quarters and head to my own, with a sense of relief.

Reflecting on our conversation, I feel a slight easing of the tightness I have been feeling in the Captain's presence. I think we have come to a kind of understanding about my place on this ship and in the circumstances, that is as much as I can expect.


End file.
